How to Cherish Your Spouse by Christian marriage coach

Cherishing Your Spouse: By A Christian Marriage Coach

In the journey of marriage, cherishing your spouse is not just an option—it’s a divine calling. As Christian marriage coach, I often emphasize the biblical directive found in Ephesians 5:33, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” This directive lays a foundational principle for cherishing one another, encapsulating the essence of mutual love and respect. In this guide, we will explore comprehensive strategies to cherish your spouse, rooted in Christian principles and practical advice, to nurture a thriving, godly marriage.

Understanding the Concept of Cherishing

To cherish someone goes beyond mere love; it involves honoring, adoring, and holding your spouse in high regard. It’s about valuing them not just for what they do but for who they are. Cherishing your spouse means seeing them through Christ’s eyes—recognizing their worth, dignity, and uniqueness as an individual made in the image of God.

The Biblical Foundation for Cherishing Your Spouse

Scripture provides a wealth of guidance on how to treat our spouses. Proverbs 31:10-31 and Ephesians 5:22-33 outline the virtues of a loving partner and the mutual submission to one another out of reverence for Christ. These passages highlight the importance of love, respect, and selflessness—key components of cherishing your spouse.

Practical Ways to Cherish Your Spouse

1. Prioritize Your Relationship with God

Your personal relationship with God is foundational to effectively cherishing your spouse. As you grow closer to God, His love transforms you and overflows into your marriage. Regular prayer for and with your spouse strengthens your bond and aligns your marriage with God’s will.

2. Communicate Openly and Effectively

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Speak words of affirmation and love daily. Listen actively, without judgment, and seek to understand your spouse’s perspective. Encourage open dialogue about feelings, dreams, and fears, and use your words to build up, not tear down.

3. Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of Christian marriage. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Holding onto resentment hinders the ability to cherish your spouse. Choose forgiveness, release grudges, and move forward in grace.

4. Serve One Another in Love

Jesus modeled servanthood, and we are called to do the same in our marriages. Serving your spouse might involve daily acts of kindness, helping with chores, or supporting their dreams. Look for ways to lighten your spouse’s load and show them they are valued.

5. Spend Quality Time Together

In the busyness of life, it’s crucial to carve out time exclusively for one another. Quality time might look like date nights, shared hobbies, or simply talking without distractions. This intentional time together strengthens your connection and demonstrates that your spouse is a priority.

6. Cultivate Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a beautiful aspect of marriage that reflects the oneness of the relationship. Beyond sexual intimacy, show affection through hugs, kisses, and holding hands. These gestures of love are powerful expressions of cherishing your spouse.

7. Celebrate Each Other’s Uniqueness

God created each individual with unique gifts, talents, and quirks. Celebrate your spouse’s uniqueness rather than trying to change it. Encourage their personal growth and dreams, and appreciate the diversity they bring to your marriage.

8. Support Each Other During Trials

Life’s trials are inevitable, but facing them together strengthens your marriage. Be your spouse’s biggest supporter during difficult times, offering encouragement, prayer, and practical support. Walking through trials together can deepen your bond and your reliance on God.

9. Create a Culture of Respect

Respect is vital for a cherishing relationship. Speak respectfully about and to your spouse, both in private and in public. Value their opinions and decisions, and treat them with the dignity they deserve as your partner and as a child of God.

10. Invest in Your Spiritual Connection

Sharing a spiritual bond is one of the most profound ways to cherish your spouse. Pray together, study God’s Word, and actively involve God in your marriage. This spiritual intimacy brings a deeper level of connection and purpose to your relationship.

11. Seek Continuous Growth

A cherishing marriage is one that continuously grows. Be open to learning, whether through marriage books, seminars, or counseling. Recognize that as you both grow individually and as a couple, your ways of cherishing each other may also evolve.

12. Model Christ’s Love

Ultimately, the best way to cherish your spouse is to love them as Christ loves the church—sacrificially, unconditionally, and eternally. Let Christ’s love be your guide in how you treat, respect, and cherish your spouse.


Cherishing your spouse is a lifelong journey that requires intentionality, sacrifice, and grace. By implementing these strategies and grounding your marriage in Christ, you can build a relationship that not only withstands the test of time but also glorifies God. Remember, in cherishing your spouse, you reflect the love of Christ to them, to your children, and to the world around you. Let your marriage be a testament to the power of God’s love working through you, creating a legacy of faith and love that endures.

Pastor Michael – Minister of Religion, Christian Marriage CounselingChristian Marriage CoachChristian Relationship CoachChristian Dating CoachChristian Life Coach (since 1999), Part of Faithmunity Ministries