As a Christian woman, it’s important to establish and communicate your boundaries when it comes to intimacy and sex before marriage. While this conversation may feel uncomfortable or awkward, it is crucial for building a strong foundation of trust and respect in any relationship. In this blog post, we will explore some helpful tips on how to effectively communicate your decision to abstain from sex before marriage to a man you are dating.

1. Know Your Values

Before entering into any relationship, it is essential to have a clear understanding of your own values and beliefs regarding sex and intimacy. Take the time to reflect on your personal convictions and what the Bible teaches about premarital sex. This self-awareness will give you the confidence to communicate your boundaries with clarity and conviction.

2. Choose the Right Time

Timing is everything when it comes to discussing sensitive topics like sex. Wait for a moment when you both are relaxed and have privacy. It is important to choose a time when both of you are in a calm and receptive state of mind, allowing for open and honest communication.

3. Be Honest and Direct

When initiating the conversation, be honest and direct about your decision to wait until marriage for sex. Clearly express your beliefs and values without judgment or criticism towards the other person. Remember, it’s not about imposing your views on them, but rather about sharing your own boundaries.

4. Explain Your Reasons

Take the time to explain your reasons for choosing abstinence before marriage. Share the spiritual, emotional, and relational benefits you believe come from waiting. By explaining your perspective, you help the other person understand the depth of your commitment and the importance of this decision to you.

5. Listen and Validate

After expressing your boundaries and reasons, give the other person an opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings. Listen attentively and validate their perspective, even if it differs from yours. Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and understanding.

6. Set Clear Expectations

It is crucial to set clear expectations moving forward. Discuss what boundaries and physical affection are acceptable to both of you. Establishing these boundaries will help you both navigate the relationship with respect and honor for each other’s beliefs.

7. Seek Support

Remember that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Seek support from trusted friends, mentors, or even a Christian dating coach who can provide guidance and encouragement. Surrounding yourself with a community that shares your values will help you stay strong in your decision.


Communicating your decision to abstain from sex before marriage is an important step in building a healthy and God-centered relationship. By knowing your values, choosing the right time, being honest and direct, explaining your reasons, listening and validating, setting clear expectations, and seeking support, you can navigate this conversation with grace and confidence. Remember, a relationship built on mutual respect and understanding will only grow stronger as you honor each other’s boundaries.

So, take a deep breath, trust in God’s guidance, and have that open and honest conversation. Your decision to wait for marriage is a beautiful expression of your faith and commitment to God’s plan for your life.

Pastor Michael – Minister of Religion, Christian Marriage Counseling, Christian Relationship Coach, Christian Dating Coach, Christian Life Coach (since 1999), Part of Faithmunity Ministries